The insincerity of "Team"

I get e-mail.  A lot of e-mail.

In my personal inbox, with the hundred or so people I maintain a correspondence, I have never seen a message that began with a "Team" salutation.  I am quite grateful for that small victory.  You see, I find that an e-mail that begins with "team" is never ever intended for a team, it is a missive from some muckety-muck trying his or her hardest to maintain the illusion that making money for the stakeholders is some sort of collective goal to glory.

This is the result of the psycho babble bullshit that has been fed to every schmuck with an MBA, and a laptop full of spreadsheets and "forecasts", lives by.  Maintain the illusion that what your Excel sheets tell you are liabilities (employees), perform to their maximum to enhance the value of your assets (stakeholders and Receivables).

So, for me, any mail that begins with "team" is a candidate for immediate deletion.  If I was part of a team, I am sure I would know it.  And I would be rewarded or reprimanded like I was part of a team, and not part of some arbitrary system driven by the next quarters sales forecast.

So stop trying to fool us.  It just pisses us off, and encourages us to spend 2 minutes per day talking about non work-related things, which is quite "unproductive".