On Life

  We are born to die.  That's what we hear over and over.  But it doesn't make it easier for the living.  We say things to our friends like "well, they can't suffer anymore", in the hope of providing some measure of comfort to ourselves and others when a loved one dies.

  As I was coming to grips with the loss of my father - which was full of anguish I did not expect - and the loss of my home, I have come to discover in the last couple of weeks, that my companion of the last 11 years, Miss Michelle Brewer, needs not only a liver which has failed her, but a heart transplant to go with it.  My family is not wealthy, thus we cannot afford to shop for a state likely to provide a donor, or with a shorter list of transplant patients.

  She has been ill for some time, fighting off Lupus and Colitis, among others.  Her heart has functioned for so long at a reduced capacity, it is finally failing.  Make a fist, and open your hand - normal function.  Now hold your hand open, and just slightly bend your fingertips -  her heart function.  I knew this soon  after we met, and while these days were in our future, I was not quite prepared for it to be so sudden, and so soon.

  I will do my best to document the journey we are on, more for myself than you.

  She is the love of my life, and being separated from her now... just makes it worse.