More ways to get ripped off

I was inquiring at a Hotel about an accommodation for a few nights in December, and came across another laughable twisting of words, meant to fool consumers into buying something.

Hotels these days, are desperate.  They don't sell many 6 dollar phone calls, as most everyone has a phone or other communication device strapped to their belt.  5 dollar movies are out, as the majority of travelers have laptops, iPads, and other devices that play movies just fine.  This is especially true of business travelers, who by their nature these days are hopelessly tethered to the mother ship, and in as many ways as possible.

The nice young lady asked me if we would be traveling with pets.  Now, my girlfriend has one of those ratty looking purse dogs (you know the kind snotty women stuff in their purse).  When I said we might be, she informed me that in that case there would be a $45 "pet deposit".  Ok, I thought this makes sense, maids have enough to clean up behind the slobs who treat them like shit, so cleaning up real dog shit would be kinda.. shitty.

I asked is that per night, and she assured me the $45 "Pet Deposit" would cover the entire length of our stay.  So I asked her to book it that way, and then if the dog did not come along, I could inform them at check-in.  When the nice lady in Bangalore or wherever women with Indian accents named "Tammy" come from, something was not right in my head with the total she wanted to put on my credit card to hold the room.

Aha, I thought, and inquired if the total included the "Pet Deposit".  She assured me it did, and when I casualy remarked that ok, so the real total is $378, she stopped me and at this point said the "Pet Deposit" was... NON REFUNDABLE.  So, as my brain processed that information, the light bulbs started going off in my head.

What the hell is a "deposit" that is "non-refundable"?

Oh, duh!  It's a FEE!  So now, it's a FEE, I say to her.

"Oh no sir, it is a non-refundable deposit"

"But if it's NON refundable, then I do not get my "deposit" back, correct?"

"Yes sir"

"Then it's NOT A DEPOSIT.  Call it a fee, a pet tax, or whatever.  If you ask me for a deposit, then I expect it to be returned if my dog doesn't shit all over your Wamsutta Wonderland bed"

At this point, I told the nice lady that I understood she was just doing what her bosses told her, and I had no animosity to her personally, but as a business decision her hotel could go fuck themselves until they change this non refundable deposit bullshit to simply a fee.

What I found is that this is common.  Which proves once again, how stupid we all really are.